


Diamonds Get High

by Yall_dve



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Drug Use, Gen, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2020-01-23 04:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yall_dve/pseuds/Yall_dve
Summary: With Pearl gone, Amethyst sees the perfect opportunity for her to introduce a new experience to the Diamonds. Set sometime between the 2 year time skip between CYM and The Movie.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea spawned in a Discord chat, and our ramblings made it too good to pass up. All I kept hearing in my head was Kermit calling me a piece of shit stoner as I started writing this. I share unto you, something that definitely should have just been a quick crack fanfic, but instead became a full fledged story. Enjoy.

Amethyst gave a smirk of satisfaction as she sealed up the last of the paper. She’d been purchasing and saving up all she could these past six months. In the beginning, she’d bought out her main three dealers multiple times before having to look outside the city for more. It wouldn’t do her any good to completely dry out the supply of her fellow Beach City stoners. Since embarking on this endeavour she’d even held off on her own toking habits in order get to her goal faster. But, the sacrifice would be worth it. She’d finally done it. Amethyst walked backwards in order to admire her creation in full. It laid before her; a true testament of her dedication.

A joint, a size befitting of a Diamond. 

Well, three Diamonds actually, but that wasn’t the point. Amethyst was nearly bouncing in excitement. If they thought getting drunk was fun, she couldn’t wait to see them all high together. This had been in the works for a while now, and finally the stars had aligned. No wind, no rain, and best of all Pearl was off on a mission doing something until later today. Things had lined up better than she could have imagined.

Amethyst glanced at the working clock in her room. 4:25am. It was almost time for them to meet. She hoisted the massive joint up against her hip and went to make her leave. Amethyst peeked her head out of her room to check that the coast was clear, then quietly made her way towards the front door, moving carefully, as not to disturb anything or anyone around her. She wasn’t about to get caught now.

Finally making it outside, she inched the door closed without a sound. Exit successful. Amethyst could barely contain her excitement. Shapeshifting into a larger-than-life hawk, she grabbed the joint with her talons and flew off to the more secluded area of the beach. 

The Diamonds were already there waiting. 

“What’s up, my Diamonds!” Amethyst greeted them once she was in earshot. “Have I got a treat for you!” 

The Diamonds paused their idle conversation and watched as Amethyst flew in front of them, hovering at eye level. Yellow gave the flying form an unimpressed look.

“We’ve been waiting for 30 minutes; where have you been?” Yellow complained. She wasn't one to be kept waiting.

“30 minutes?” Amethyst’s bird head quirked to the side. “I told you guys we were meeting at 4:30. Why’d you get here so early?” She flew down to the ground and shifted back to her usual form.

“What?” Yellow asked, turning to her fellow Diamond, “Blue, you said we had to-” 

“I lied,” Blue confessed, cutting Yellow short. “I just thought it would be nice to watch the waves before we tried something new.” 

Yellow opened her mouth to retort, but decided to let it go. There was no use in complaining about it now. Besides, she had enjoyed waiting here with Blue and White. It was nice being together with no pressing matters between them. She let out a small sigh and settle back down. Blue gave a soft smile beside her.

“So,” White began, keen to find out their reason for being here, “Why exactly are we meeting on the beach so late? Isn’t it usual for you Earth people to be sleeping around this time?”

“Well, that’s precisely why we’re here right now!” Amethyst exclaimed. “Nighttime is actually the best time to do this!” She decided to skirt past the fact that what they were about to do was definitely still illegal.

Moving forward as not to allow any more questions, she began a drumroll on her thighs and put on her best announcer voice. “Known by many names… The Devil's Lettuce, Herb, Hash, Pot, Ganja-- Sweet ol’ Mary Jane! I present to you...” Then throwing her arms wide, motioning to the joint beside her, she exclaimed, “Weed!”

Her introduction was met with silence and confused stares. She held her pose, adding jazz hands, as if prompting her audiences to react. The Diamonds only glanced at one another with uncertainty. The small gem seemed enthused, but the meaning behind what she had rambled off was lost to them.

“Weed?” Blue asked, breaking the awkward silence. Leaning in to scrutinize the rolled up paper below her, still confused, she continued, “This seems nothing like those little flowers humans try to get rid of.”

Realizing her mistake, Amethyst busted out laughing. Duh! Of course! They have no idea what she's talking about. “No, not weeds, like in a garden,” Amethyst explained further, still laughing. “This is an Earth drug, like the alcohol you guys tried!”

“Oh, another Earth drug, you say?” White asked, curiosity piqued. “Well, what does this one do?” She would never admit it to the others, but she actually enjoyed getting drunk. Sure, she had cried over many small matters beneath her, but overall it was a freeing state of being.

“Well, you're about to see! Hey, Yellow D, can you blast some lightning on that pile of wood?” Amethyst gestured towards the firepit.

Yellow raised an eyebrow at the request, but heeded it nonetheless. Pointing her finger at the small stack, she let a controlled blast of lightning leave her her fingertip. With a cackle, the pile burst into flames. 

“Alright!” Amethyst clapped her hands together in glee, “Let’s get this show on the road!” 

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a much smaller joint. Her posture went from her usual slouch to tall and _almost_   dignified. She cleared her throat. This was her area of expertise; her drug of choice. And she was about to introduce this experience to the Diamonds. 

“So, for this drug to work, you first gotta light it.” Amethyst walked towards the firepit as she put the opened end of the rolled paper between her lips. She leaned towards the flames, letting the other end of the joint catch fire. With one deep inhale, she pulled away. Exhaling contentedly, a smile gracing her features. Smoke trailed from her lips, wisping away in the air. Oh man, how she missed this. “Then you just breathe in the smoke. Best part is, once it’s lit, it stays lit.”

“Now, one of you try!” She was looking up at the Diamonds with a sly smile, wondering who would go for it first.

Yellow picked up the larger joint and turned it around in her fingers a couple of times. She looked at it incredulously then back at the smaller gem. Amethyst went ahead and took another drag of her joint, eyes shifting back and forth between it and Yellow, then exhaling again. 

White, not caring for whatever her fellow Diamond was thinking, plucked the joint from Yellow’s grasp. “Sunray, if you’re hesitant, I'll just go first.”

“What?” Yellow objected, “That was not hesitation; I was examining it!”

However, Yellow's protest fell on deaf ears. White’s attention was fully focused on the task before her. It had seemed easy enough. She leaned in towards the flames and did as the small gem had shown. Inhale. Lean back. And exhale. Simple. 

Except, it didn’t go quite as smoothly. 

White, imitating Amethyst, had inhaled deeply, uncertain of what to expect. The smoke was harsh as it rushed down her throat and into her lungs. Her eyes widened at the sudden burning sensation as a cough forced its way out from her form.

“What in-,” White tried to speak, “-my stars…” She continued her coughing fit, eyes watering, trying to regain her composure. Maybe it wasn't so simple.

Yellow snatched the joint out from White’s hand and Blue immediately sat up, putting her own hand on White’s back.

“White, are you alright?” Blue asked with concern as she rubbed the larger Diamond’s back.

Yellow looked down at Amethyst with a piercing glare. “Is this some kind of _joke_? What is the meaning of this?!”

In any other situation, such a regard from Yellow Diamond would have caused a gem to cower in fear and beg for mercy. Amethyst, however, just brought a hand up to her mouth to cover a laugh, before answering, “Nah, no pranks here! This happens to everyone their first time. Go on; try it,” she encouraged, “Get the first one out of the way. You’ll get used to it after a few hits.”

Yellow’s glare softened ever so slightly. She glanced over towards White, who seemed to be regaining some composure, then back at the younger gem who, once again, exhaled easily with another trail of smoke leaving her lips.

Yellow recalled how her first “shot” of alcohol had burned going down, each one after burning less than the last. Maybe this was the same. She looked determinedly at the slowly burning roll before her, put it between her lips, and inhaled.


	2. Chapter 2

Yellow was unceremoniously doubled over on the ground; a raging fit of coughs relentlessly racking her body. Her fingers dug deep against the sand. Forms of fulgurite burst forth around her as her powers activated in defense. Not that they did her any good. The only thing there was to do was endure it.

Amethyst was also doubled over, but for an entirely different reason. Laughter coursed through her as she held onto her cramping sides. She couldn’t believe what she’d just witnessed. Despite watching what happened to White, the Diamond General proceeded to take the biggest hit Amethyst had ever seen a newbie take. If only she had the forethought to be videotaping; Peridot would have loved to see this.

Having mostly recovered from her bout, White gave a slight chuckle at the sight. Blue sighed, but went over to Yellow in a show of support nonetheless. Leave it to Yellow to somehow feel challenged by an Earth drug. White went over and retrieved the joint that had been dropped in the chaos. She took a few deep breaths in an attempt to clear her airways before giving it another go.

Now knowing what to expect, White stopped before inhaling too much. It didn’t feel as harsh as a hit than last, but White found herself choking back coughs regardless.

“Here Blue,” White held the joint towards her, “go on and try.”

Taking the joint from White, Blue gave a glance towards Yellow. The buzz of static energy clung to the air and danced around them. Deciding not to make the same mistake, she took a tentative inhale. 

She involuntarily coughed against the sensation, but considered it a reward for her caution. It wasn't all that bad. As she'd seen, it could've been worse.

“So, what do we do now?” White asked. Her form felt somewhat heavier, just the slightest of difference, but wasn’t certain if that was the drug’s doing or just her imagination. Other than a shortness of breath, despite gems not even really needing to breathe, she didn’t feel much different.

Exhaling another stream of smoke, Amethyst looked over to White. “We keep passing around the joint until we’ve finished it off. Well, you guys do. I have my own,” gesturing to her smaller joint. She then giggled at its size. It was definitely a fat roll, but it seemed like nothing compared to the one the Diamonds were sharing.

“It certainly has a distinct odor to it.” Blue frowned before taking another hit.

“Don’t worry. Once you’re high, you won’t even notice it,” Amethyst replied with a smirk. 

By now, Yellow’s coughing had mostly subsided, but she was still trying to regain her composure. Sitting up, she honestly looked worn down by the whole ordeal. Blue took one last drag before offering it over to Yellow.

“Don’t inhale so hard this time,” Blue teased as Yellow took the joint from her hand. 

“Haha,” Yellow deadpanned, trying, but failing to suppress a cough as she spoke. She could still feel the burn deep within her chest, unable to breathe in too much air without reigniting another coughing fit. Taking in all that smoke, with a determination she knew to be unrivaled, was not her brightest idea. She gave Blue a small shove to show her annoyance, but Blue only gave her a playful smile back. Rolling her eyes, she went to take a much lighter hit from the joint.

From there, the Diamonds continued to pass the joint between the three of them. Once Amethyst could see they’d gotten comfortable with it, she decided to show them some smoke tricks to help keep them interested. White and Yellow attempted to make smoke rings, while Blue laid on her stomach making soft smoke tornado over the sand. Amethyst smirked at her work. The Diamonds were having a good time, and once the drug really kicked in, they were gonna have a blast.


	3. Guest Staring: Former Mayor Dewey

Bill Dewey was laying freshly made donuts out on a tray as the first signs of the sun were coming up over the horizon. Looking out the store front, his lips turned up in a small smile. All these years here and he still enjoyed a good Beach City sunrise. Although it was a lot duller than usual today. Hmm. He didn’t remember seeing fog in the forecast this week. Maybe his age was finally starting to get to him.

The “ding” of the coffee machine brought him out of his thoughts and donut laying trance. Making his way towards the machine, he eagerly grabbed one of the stacked cups next to it, along with a coffee sleeve. The former Mayor paused to take pride in his initiative. He had ordered new specialized coffee cups specifically for Beach City. The cups themselves were blue and tan to mimic the shore, with the beach part being on top. The sleeves were blue and foamy white to mimic the tide. When you put on the sleeve, it made it seem like the tide was rising. He chuckled to himself as he played with the sleeve, making the tide rise and fall. 

Surely corporate wouldn’t mind. Practically every food establishment here served coffee. This would attract more people to get their coffee here rather than somewhere else, or just plain making it at home. Especially the tourist. He may no longer be the Mayor of Beach City, but he’d be damned if he still didn’t take pride in it.

He made his coffee and quickly finished laying out the rest of the donuts. Fog or no fog, he was still going to do his usual morning ritual of sitting outside and watching the sunrise until the first customers of the day came by. 

He walked to the front of the store, coffee in hand, humming a tune. He began to push open the door, but barely a crack was all it took. The smell hit him like a freight train, making him he stumbled back a step. 

“Heavens above!” Bill uttered. The smell of marijuana engulfed him. He blinked a few times before his mood dropped into exhaustion. He put his coffee down, grumbling to himself.

“Damn teenagers... Probably near the dumpster getting high…” His morning sure seemed to be off to a good start. 

He opened the door and marched out towards the dumpster to yell at whoever decided to smoke next to a public establishment, but when he turned the corner, there was no one in sight. Strange. He went ahead and walked around the whole store just to make sure.

“Christ,” he said to himself as he coughed and waved at the air trying to dissipate the smell, “How much did they smoke?”

He did one last scan around the area for any signs of movement, but saw none. It was only him, the fog, and the unbelievably intense smell of weed. Yup. They definitely must have just finished and ran off before he came out. After a moment, he sighed. Unbelievable. He went back inside to get a can of air freshener and to plug in some portable fans to keep the smell from harboring inside the shop. 

The least they could have done was buy a couple dozen donuts for when the munchies hit them.


	4. Chapter 4

Pearl materialized on the warp pad back at the beach house. Walking towards Steven’s bed, she wanted to check and see if he was actually asleep. He’d been staying up later and later recently doing who knows what on his phone. It was true that gems didn’t need sleep, but he was only part gem. She wasn’t sure how much sleep would be considered normal for him, let alone if he even really needed it now that his powers had matured. Better to be safe than sorry though; which was why Pearl was thinking about having a charging port in the kitchen where phones would stay during the night. 

The house was quiet and sunlight was just now starting to seep into their home. As she began walking up the stairs, a familiar odor caught her attention that halted her ascension. Pearl’s eyes narrowed in recognition. 

“Amethyst…” she grumbled to herself. She quickly peaked over the ledge and saw Steven fast asleep. Good, he was actually sleeping tonight. Pearl smiled to herself, then went to find Amethyst. 

The younger gem had promised to keep her illicit drug use confined to her room. Not only did Pearl find her smoking habits obnoxious by smell alone, but it made the purple gem even lazier than usual. And that’s not even mentioning the amount of times Pearl had walked into the kitchen only to see Amethyst gorging herself on whatever foods were available, claiming she had the “munchies”. She shuddered. Amethyst’s favorite drug absolutely repulsed her. 

She did a quick look around the younger gem's room, but to no avail. What was more worrisome was that the smell of weed was actually less potent in here. Pearl pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. As she walked out of Amethyst room, she spotted Garnet in the kitchen preparing breakfast for Steven. 

“Garnet!” Pearl exclaimed.

However she was promptly shushed as Garnet motioned up towards Steven’s bed. 

“Oh! Right,” Pearl started, then began again now with a more hushed tone, “Garnet have you seen Amethyst anywhere?”

“You’re back early. Have you checked outside yet?” Garnet stated as she continued whisking batter. “I heard her opening the front door earlier this morning.”

“Earlier this…” Pearl trailed off, “She’s not one be up in the morning, unless…”

Pearl’s eyes narrowed as she stormed towards the front door. Amethyst wouldn’t have dared... No, of course she would. She’s Amethyst. With her being away, she probably saw this as a perfect opportunity to change things up and smoke outside. Pearl whipped open the door to go find her, but one step on the porch and Pearl was reeling back. 

“Oh my-” Pearl began to shriek, but promptly cupped a hand over her mouth remembering that Steven was still asleep just feet away from her. She closed the door and looked at Garnet who’d stopped her whisking and could definitely smell it too.

“Garnet, find some fans,” Pearl whispered over to her as she pulled out a gas mask from her gem, “We’ve got to air out the place before Steven wakes up!”

“On it,” Garnet said as she left the forgotten bowl of batter on the counter. Making her way towards the storage closet under the stairs, she abruptly stopped, turning to Pearl.

“I think we’re going to need more than a few fans to fix this.”

Pearl looked over towards Garnet and tilted her head to the side as she tightened her gas mask. A bad feeling washed over her. 

“What do you mean?” she asked tentatively, uncertain if she was ready to hear whatever Garnet was about to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry it's been so long since there's been an update. I'm really new with sharing my writing, so I've been editing on and off until I was happy enough with it. Steven doesn't have his own room yet (mainly because when I originally wrote this, the movie wasn't out yet), but we'll say that this happened sometime between that 2 year period before it was built!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
